Friday, 21 April 2017

Signs He No Longer Cares.

I am basing these things on my own experience but if any of them ring true for you, you may want to question your relationship and if your spouse is no longer interested.

I mean, it's kind of obvious to us women. We have a fine tuned intuition. If you're in doubt, chances are you're in doubt for a reason. 

So one minute he is everything he should be. Interested, loving, yadda yadda and all of those lovely little things slowly start to dwindle, People don't just fall out of love, it takes time for that to happen. Time for him to have doubts. Time for him to make sense of what is happening. So in between, he may still seem a little warm, even though the rest of him is as cold as ice.

Sooner or later, push will come to shove and he will eventually have to come clean about his feelings. He can only deny it and widdle his way out of the conversation for so long. He is unhappy, remember. Falling out of love isn't easy either!

So, here are the red flags for those of you who want answers but can't seem to get them from him. Fair enough, these signs could mean ANY number of things, but for me, they only had one reason. He just wasn't that into me anymore. 

1. He no longer communicates with you. I get it, men aren't big talkers. It's difficult for them to open up and have those deep meaningful conversations us women thrive on. Men find it difficult to find the words that are needed for those biggies. But when he stops trying to find those words, That's when it becomes concerning. When he no longer tolerates you wanting to talk, to communicate. And it's not just deep conversations he avoids, it's most conversations. Right now, he is getting by just fine with small talk. You aren't though... Right?

2. He is no longer interested in sex. Of course this is a huge red flag. Be open to other possibilities though. Men find it difficult to discuss if they are having issues 'down there' or even 'up there'. When a man's brain is on overload, he just can't be bothered to play. Same goes for when he is exhausted. Depressed, stressed, anxious, etc. But if he is none of those things, and you have ruled out all other possibilities, that's when you can think of a possible lack of interest. It's a hard pill to swallow, let me tell you. Rejection is never easy to accept. When the love of your life no longer wants to touch you or is interested in you sexually, man... That can be pretty devastating to a woman's self worth and confidence. But remember, it's not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you physically. What one man can't see, another will. It's his issue. Not yours.

3. He no longer compliments you. Remember when he used to call you beautiful? Or was interested in that new dress you wore? Yeah, that kinda flung out the window. Fair enough, the honeymoon stage is dead and gone and there is a little less magic after years of being together, but those compliments, those should never dwindle in a drastic way. Think about your part for a moment. For me, I always complimented him. I would always show my physical interest in him. I never stopped telling him how much I adored him. 

4. He has a short fuse. He snaps at you very easily. Arguments are something that happen a lot more frequently. Little things that you used to do annoy him to the max now. He just doesn't have the patience he used too. 

5. He is no longer there for you. Why would he want to be? He is no longer emotionally invested in you, so what is hurting you or upsetting you, he just doesn't want to know. At least someone can sleep easy, eh.

6. He doesn't want to do anything with you anymore. Going out is not an option anymore. Those date nights arent as important. 

So there you have it. My take on the sings to look out for when there is no other reasonable explanation for his behaviour. Remember, communication is key in any relationship. I don't mean constantly bug him to talk, that won't work. He will talk when he is ready. If he still won't budge... Then I'm afraid its up to you to make the decisions for your life. Take control again. No one has the right to make us feel bad. 


Thursday, 20 April 2017

Why Is Sex Important In A Relationship?

Why is sex important in a relationship?

First of all, I’d like to point out a few issues as to why sex can be a problem in some relationships. Some partners may have health concerns that limit their sexual activity. Some couples experience sexual differences. One person may have a higher or lower sex drive than the other. Those are subjects I could write about individually and I may cover some aspects of each as I go along, but for now, I am concentrating on why sex is important in a monogamous relationship.  

It ‘s untrue to think of men as sexual beasts. Not all men have high sex drives and It’s unfair to label men as such. Women can be just as sexual when it comes down to it. Women can have very high sex drives too and sometimes, that is forgotten. What happens to a woman when her sexual needs are not met by her partner? She feels unloved and unwanted. Sex isn’t just sex for women, for some, it’s a way to express themselves emotionally, a connection. Women love to feel sexy and wanted.  If a woman is in a relationship with a man who has a lower sex drive than she, problems arise. She thinks all sorts of thoughts. Am I not attractive anymore? Is he having an affair? Does he want something else? Something better? Communication is key here. If you’re not sexually compatible with your spouse, you can either compromise or find someone you are compatible with. Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. If you don’t have that, it’s going to be frustrating for you both.

Of course there are other ways to satisfy your sexual needs, if your partner isn’t up for it. There are toys, right? I personally never enjoyed something that needs batteries and that’s where the connection part comes into play. I can’t connect with a toy. I want the real thing. Sex is healthy. It’s nothing to feel ashamed about. If your partner doesn’t have the same sex drive as you, you do not need to feel abnormal and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re a nymphomaniac! It just means you’re not sexually compatible with your partner. It becomes frustrating when other aspects of your relationship are good and compatible, but there is a huge gap between you both when sex is an issue, when one party isn’t being fulfilled. 

What about the person with the lower sex drive? It’s frustrating for them too. They feel useless. They feel like they can’t satisfy their partner. One word, Compromise. Just because your sex drive isn’t as high as you’d like, doesn’t mean you can’t satisfy her/him. Foreplay is a good way to satisfy your partner if you don’t feel up to going the distance. It’s fun, exciting and emotionally rewarding for both. She/he feels wanted, sexy and attractive and you feel happy you could help. Plus, it’s sometimes a huge turn on watching your partner experience sexual pleasure, so you might just want to ‘finish’.

The bottom line is compatibility. I can’t stress it enough. If you’re not sexually compatible with your spouse, you’re not going to be 100% happy in the relationship and It can also lead to depression. The freedom you feel when both parties are sexual compatible is quite amazing and the possibilities are endless. If that’s not there, you feel caged.

Sex is important in a relationship to feel secure, loved and wanted. It's important to feel fulfilled! Sex is fun and enjoyable. It’s a connection and an emotional freedom. It’s natural!

Enjoy it.